In The Way
by KateToast
Summary: Why was there always something in the way? In the way of feeling truly happy, in the way of being totally herself with James? Zoey's thoughts when James gives her the "I love you" necklace. CZ undertones.


A/N: Takes place during _Chasing Zoey_ (obviously).

XXX

"I... I… well, just read the back of it."

Zoey smiled at her boyfriend of four months, wondering why he was acting so oddly. She still could hardly believe he was actually coming to Hawaii with her this summer; it would be so great… wouldn't it? Zoey didn't know why doubt was creeping at the edges of her blissful mind, so she tried to ignore it.

Humoring him, she flipped the thoughtful necklace over, squinting a bit to make out the tiny words engraved in the gold.

_I Love You_

–_James_

Her heart stopped, and when it resumed again just a moment later, it was drumming in her chest a mile a minute.

In the most pleasant voice she could muster, Zoey said, "It says I love you." Her pitch rose as she uttered the words she'd just read on the necklace; could he tell she was having a mini freak-out?

Apparently not, because he just smiled at her in that boyishly charming way he always did, the one that usually melted her insides at how cute he was.

This time, however, she was a little too busy having a panic attack to even register that James was still sitting beside her, staring at her, waiting.

Because as Zoey had read the words on the necklace – the beautiful, obviously expensive,_ so_ thoughtful necklace James had picked out _just_ for her - not only had her heart momentarily stopped, but also her mind.

And, like her heart, when her brain had re-started, it had zoomed off into a million directions.

Had a boy ever said _I love you_ to her before, in this kind of situation? Had she ever said it to a guy? Had she ever _been_ in love? What was love in the first place? Was what she felt for James love, and she just hadn't realized it? Was it all happening too quickly? Why was it such a big deal? Why was she spazzing out? Was she going to spend the rest of her life with James? Did he really love her?

Why did a head of bushy hair just flash across her mind? Why was she hearing another boy's voice, a voice she had barely heard in months? Why was she imagining another boy saying _I love you_ to her? Why was she remembering last semester, the one she'd been trying to block out for so long? Why was she so sad all of a sudden? Why couldn't she just be happy, once and for all? Why had she begun pulling away from James recently?

Why was there always something in the way? In the way of feeling truly happy, in the way of being totally herself with James, in the way of playing pranks and having fun in class and killing time when there was nothing to do? Why was there something in the way of loving PCA like she used to?

"Zo? Zoey?" James called her name, and he sounded so distant, like he was in a completely other time from her. Why was she stuck thinking about that fateful webcam incident on repeat? "… Well?"

"Well… uh… it's… a beautiful necklace," she said awkwardly, just as the other boy with the bushy hair said _I'm in love with Zoey!_ for the millionth time in her mind.

"Uh, yeah…" James agreed, his grin turning slowly into a frown. "You – you understand what I wrote on the back, right? I lo-"

"Yes! Yes, I understand," she affirmed, very loudly, and way too cheerily. She pushed the memories away, just as she had done over and over again for months now.

James stared at her. Zoey wished she could curl up and die. Why was this such a problem? Her boyfriend loved her – that was supposed to be a good thing, a _great_ thing! Why wasn't she dancing around with joy? Why wasn't she hugging him close? Why wasn't she _saying anything_?

And why did she keep thinking of Chase Matthews, the boy whose heart she'd broken? (It _was_ her own fault, really; she only had herself to blame for the gaping hole that now existed in her life.)

"Zo, uh, are you-"

"James," she interrupted. She had to get out of there.

She began standing up, collecting her laptop, the necklace swinging wildly from her hand. "I have a huge paper due tomorrow for history, I have to go finish it – but, uh, thank you! Thank you so much for the necklace, it is great, and you are… you are great," she finished lamely, the words pouring out of her mouth; she had no control. Before she knew it she was quickly kissing the top of his head and rushing away. "I'll call you later! Thank you!" she shouted back once more, before disappearing around a corner, leaving a very confused 17-year-old boy sitting alone on a bench.

With every step across the pavement she denied herself a little more; Chase had _nothing_ to do with this.

If she hadn't still been speed-walking away once she'd gone from his vision, she would've heard James say, in a hurt voice: "But we don't have a history paper due tomorrow."

XXX


End file.
